Humiliation

Humiliation...
Oh, we’ve all done it. I’m not talking about the kind of humiliation brought on by a particularly stinky fart in an enclosed area where everyone knows that’s YOUR smelly ass. Not even the kind that requires an apology for your drunkenness the next day. No, I’m talking about the kind we’ve all voluntarily subjected ourselves to… Relationship Humiliation.

You can pretend like you have no IDEA what I’m talking about… and that’s okay. I’m not here to judge. How could I possibly? But like it or not, we’ve all done it. We’ve debased ourselves to the extent of putting all of “it” on the line. We say out loud the things we can barely even think to ourselves… and then we’re rebuffed. Oh, the horror. And it IS horrific. You go in thinking, “if I just gather my balls and say what I feel, SURELY the sentiment will be returned.” Let me take this opportunity to save you from yourself – IT PROBABLY WON’T.

And then there you are… There you are, with your heart on your sleeve, your dignity at your feet, saying the things you feel most deeply, only to be told, “it’ll pass,” or “what about when your feelings change in three months?” Well then, to this I say simply, “fuck you.” It takes a tremendous amount of courage to say what you feel, because saying it out loud means acknowledging the risk. Risk is huge. Not everyone is brave enough to take it and it’s horribly unfair that, when we do, we’re sometimes summarily dismissed.

Nonetheless, here's where I am with this whole phenomenon: ya might as well do it anyway.

Take the chance. What do you have to lose really? If you don’t do it, the open-ended question will fester in your head forever. And there’s no greater draw than the “what if.” It's a dangerous magnet it is. *nodding*

My only real words of caution:
1. Go in knowing that you may still leave the way you came.
2. Understand that, just because you want it doesn’t mean it’s yours to have.
3. And most importantly, set your personal boundary. Don’t keep going back to relive the humiliation over and over, because the result won’t change. Be prepared to walk away without sneaking a peek back over your shoulder. You did your part; your side of the street is clean.

I say, do it one time. Go ahead and humiliate yourself. Why not? Wallow in the feeling of total debasement. Then when you’re done, never, EVER try it again.

Every person we involve ourselves with deserves a shot of making a decision based on the facts. If… when… the answer is “no,” know that the only real recourse is to just sweep up what's left of your dignity, tuck your heart away, head up, shoulders back, and leave it. Irrespective of your situational interpretation, get that you’re weren’t that important. I know that’s harsh. I know that it’s extraordinarily difficult to digest. But you don’t have a choice. So collect your toothbrush, extra socks, and magazines then get the hell out.

One and done, people! One and done!