Can I just take a
minute to share how exasperated and frankly under-whelmed I am with this
“phenomenon” of people (okay, woman) announcing that their birthday is coming
up, followed by a proclamation that we should all dedicate an entire weekend,
week, or month to the celebration of Her?
I’m fairly
self-focused, but even I recognize that my sole contribution to my birthday was
showing up in a hellfire storm of screaming. My first wild-eyed fit, as it
were. I think it would be more appropriate to celebrate that, rather than
merely my non-participatory entry into this world. I say let’s all raise a
glass to the benchmark by which all future wild-eyed fits would/could/should be
calibrated. We’ll gather, sans gifts, simply to perform an annual review
of whether or not the birthday girl in question has properly measured up, then
everyone can go on about their business.
I wonder if there’s
a line of greeting cards in combining these two, because that’d be kind of
hilarious…
“Good effort,
Birthday Girl!
You sufficiently
embarrassed yourself and/or your loved ones to the best of your ridiculous
ability!
Go ahead, drag it
out a few more days!
Cheers!”
“Too bad, Birthday
Girl…
It wasn’t for lack
of trying because the numbers were clearly on your side.
Hope you enjoy the
one minute of celebration you deserve.
Better luck next
year.”
“Sorry I missed
your special day, Birthday Girl.
I was busy doing MY
life,
But I’ll bet you
made a brilliant ass of yourself again this year!
Salute! Cin cin!”
