The Cold and the Cold

When I finally got back to my hotel (post-drinks and having walked for a mile in deep snow - which was actually pretty funny given there were 4 of us stupid enough to be out after all the cabs were pulled from the roads), I made my sleepy time tea, had a hot shower, and fell into the bed wishing to GAWD I had more cold medicine.

*blink* *blink*

Staring at the ceiling until after midnight and vaguely listening to whatever was on the Food Network, I contemplated why I wasn’t sleeping, had 2 imaginary conversations with my soon-to-be ex-boss (neither of them nice!), ran a few mental calculations surrounding how long I could go without a job (should probably do those on paper prior to acting on total), started an outline for my book – got bored – then dozed off during an imaginary conversation with my new boss (much nicer!).

4:42AM Are ya kiddin’ me?

I got out of the bed to investigate the clamor coming from 5 floors below in the hotel drive. I pushed back the sheers and was astounded to discover that in a city where, after 2 solid days of snow they had yet to send out a single plow, there was a funny little man with a snow blower clearing the sidewalk. AT 4:42AM!!!

For the next 2 hours and 33 minutes I lay in the bed – having decided last night to arrive late to the office today – angry. Very, very angry. Oh sure. I could call downstairs and complain. But the “overnight girls” who deeply resent those of us who live in the hotel and our special privileges, would only be amused and most likely delighted at my misery. We don’t like the “overnight girls.” They place our wake up calls late and don’t have our dry cleaning delivered.

It’s now coming up on lunchtime and I’ve decided to leave work early – immediately following the end of my last conference call at 5:30 tonight. I’m determined to get to the gym for a run, pack my case, and hit the feathers at a reasonable hour. Most likely I’ll meet the others for drinks, realize the time, skip dinner, race upstairs for a shampoo and blow out, then leave packing for the morning in order to catch up on some rest in hopes of kicking this cold during week 8.

*blink* *blink*

Life Truths

This is a repeat post from July 2 of 2008. It occurs to me that as we head into the new year full of resolutions (aka personal promises which set us up for failure), that it would be a good idea to re-arm ourselves with a few basic Life Truths to ensure we do not repeat some of the more unsavory moments of last year.

Life Lessons: Today's offering is the "can't you see I'm drinking here, go away and don't bother me" version.

1. You are where you are because THAT, my friend, is where you put yourself. Do not blame your Higher Power, the Universe, or the people around you for your decisions.
2. The Universe is TRYING to move you in the direction of your life path. For gawd's sake quit acting like you know everything. Ya don't! So get outta the way.
3. Life is a sink or swim situation. It's a Bring Your Own Water Wings affair, so quit annoying the rest of us with your bitching about how you've been done oh so, wrong and fucking paddle already.
4. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get on with it.
5. Just because you want it, does NOT mean it's yours to have.
6. Yes. You're fat. I think I am, too. Now can we please stop having that conversation? It creates a barrier that doesn't allow for useful communication.
7. Your true friends will say the things you don't want to hear because they love you... and because they have faith that you already know the truth.
8. Ask for help. It's true that those who love you will just show up, but not all situations allow for that.
9. You are alone. Choose your environs carefully.
10. Beware false allies.
11. Do not shampoo your hair everyday, no matter what.
12. Stop fighting with the Universe and you'll stop making stupid decisions.
13. One minute of your time - especially when you don't "have" it - is worth hours to someone who needs it.
14. Pay attention. This will solve almost all of your "problems."
15. Take heed: a drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
16. You DO have a choice. Make it already because the people around you are tired of hearing about it.
17. People are going to talk. Your choice is whether or not to give them something to talk ABOUT.
18. We all humiliate ourselves. Get over it. Those will become the stories of your life's winter.
19. If you think any part of this was written about you, it probably was... I just didn't know it.

That's it. A short list of Life Truths in no particular order. Now if you don't mind, I have barre to do.