09-09-09

Disclaimer: This may very well be the worst thing I've ever posted. But in the spirit of exposing myself, here it is nonetheless.

It’s the 9^th.

Not the 11^th. The 9^th.

Is it weird that 8 years later my stomach still drops at the sound of a military helicopter overhead? We don’t see many of those here, but it’s a gruesome reminder of that fateful day when it’s ALL we heard; the only thing breaking up the eerie silence.

I live 120 miles south of New York City; 108 miles north of Washington DC; and 199 miles east of Shanksville, Pennsylvania. I remember feeling surrounded by horror.

From the Ben Franklin Bridge, you could see the smoke rising from Lower Manhattan.
From my living room, you could hear the drone of military aircraft coming and going from Dover AFB and whatever that facility is just over the Delaware state line. This wasn’t happening on TV. This was happening in our yard.

Funny thing about the 11^th. I was on a plane on that day last year (read blog titled September 11, 2008) and never felt safer. Well, I say that… guess you’d have to read the blog to really know what I was feeling…

So today. Today I feel… like maybe I found my coffee limit; irritated because my data hasn’t shown up which is putting me behind; a bit like buying a chainsaw to take care of the newly downed tree out back; and more curious with every passing whirly-bird. I can’t help but wonder, why today? What’s going on in that secret government cave that it’s releasing low-flying aircraft again? Probably just routine exercises. Nonetheless, maybe I’ll take a drive up the street to the private airport.

Nostalgia

“Don’t have much to say,
Thought I’d call you up anyway.”
~ James Taylor

Nostalgia. It’s the classic example of “hurts so good.” I’ve been feeling rather nostalgic lately and I don’t know why. I do know I’ve been wallowing in it as if expecting some grand ROI for having done so...Yes, seems a little unbalanced.

Which of us is who we thought we’d be while playing “grown up” as a child? How many fulfilled the promise of that 6th grade essay question asking, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”

When we started college, with our big plans and bigger dreams, did we believe for a moment that today we’d be looking back at that time wondering, “how could I possibly have been so naïve? So idealistic?”

And finally, during which drunk did that person completely disappear only to be replaced by this one? Not that there’s anything innately wrong with this one, it’s just… different.

What if…
… we went left instead of right?
… we’d said yes, instead of no?
… we’d said no, instead of yes?
… we’d thought it through?
… or not thought about it at all?
“There are faces I remember
From the places in my past
I said all the dead head miles
And insincere smiles
Sometimes I can laugh and cry
And I can’t remember why
But I still love those
Good times gone by
Hold on to them close or let them go
Oh no, I don’t know.” ~ James Taylor
I made one very definitive decision very early in my life – and it changed every aspect of my future. It’s the ultimate, “what if…” So since I’m waist deep in feeling nostalgic, the question to ponder over our collective cocktail is, “would I make that same decision again if I could?”

And what if I didn’t?
We all know how I feel about The Universe and it’s methodology for ensuring you end up exactly where you’re supposed to be, when you’re supposed to be there. Would it have made a difference? I’m looking for a genie in a lamp here. Or better yet, a visionary in my vodka.

Here’s something to mull: If a neutron can be in two places at one time, and it stands to reason then that an atom can also be in two places at one time, and since we are comprised of atoms, is it possible that in a Parallel Universe I am who I thought I’d be when I was so very young? Are you?

I think I’m going to go put on my “H-town uniform”; wonder at my White Tag Levi’s; open some wine; play some old CDs; read some letters; flip through some photos; then paw around in my still half full college satchel. Maybe I can get this out of my system.

“Things may always stay the way they are,
Still my head looks for a change from time to time.
I don’t really need to look that far.
Turn on the music, strike up the music
Let the music change my mind.”
~ James Taylor

A Word from Jimmy Sprinkles

So yous guys, here's da thing. She's takin' a break. Says she's gotta go buy back her dignity - whaddever dat means. Said somethin' else too but she's laughin' and I wasn't listenin'. Anyways, I checked in and she says she's got somethin' in the works - kinda dangerous but funny. I gotta tell ya's I ain't hearin' nuttin' in heres, but then it's kinda noisy.

How Quickly Time Passes

I had no idea that 15 days passed since my last musings. As always, my first reaction is to blame some external force for keeping me from employing my Gawd-given talent for amusing the masses. Truth is, Dear Readers, there's been nothing to say. I am not amused by anything.

*sings* Ja, ja, ja jaded

There's something about the perilous alignment of planets in conjunction with the solar eclipse that has sent The Universe - well, okay, MY Universe - into a tailspin... Now, I like to get dizzy as much as the next person, but I prefer it be from the vodka. That I can control... So in an attempt to regain some semblance of humor, interest, and an "Attitude of Gratitude," I'm going to make every effort today to locate a topic that will both rivet and amuse you. How hard could that be? After all, I AM going to the Wal-Mart...

Advice from Jimmy Sprinkles

1. Always sit with yer back to the wall. This is non-negotiable. Shit goes down, you should see it comin’.
2. Yer “family” is bigger than blood. Ya don’t screw your “family.”
3. Burn anything with blood on it. Ya just never know…
4. Buy a round at the bar.
5. Watch yer mouth in front of the ladies. Yer gonna wanna give one of ‘em the old ba-bing one day.
6. Don’t start no shit, there won’t be no shit.
7. Guys: ya want a one-night stand, buy it. That’s somebody’s daughter yer messin’ with.
8. Watch yer associations. Today’s odds-on favorite is tomorrow’s 20 to 1.
9. Learn to keep people’s secrets. Think of it as a long-term investment in body and soul.
10. Good wine ain’t always expensive. (That’s one of them euphemisms. Yous can figure it out.)
11. Just because ya don’t think yer caught don’t mean ya ain’t.
12. Keep yer money in yer mattress and yer consigliere in yer wallet.
13. The tip you leave today might buy ya somethin’ tomorrow.
14. Never trust the over-anxious. They got their reasons.
15. Eat dinner with friends. It’s good to break bread.

Loyalty

Loyalty (n): unswerving in allegiance: faithful to a private person to whom fidelity is due; faithful to a cause, ideal, custom, or institution
Disloyalty (n): opposite of above. Seems so very sad that a definition for these words is necessary.

I’ve been feeling nostalgic recently. Nostalgic for a time when principles mattered; when others were valued; when we held ourselves and our friends to a higher moral standard. When did we quit honoring our convictions? When did we become so accepting of things such as betrayal, disloyalty, and inappropriate public behavior? When did we decide as a society that airing the personal business of others is perfectly acceptable? When did preying on the sadness of another for personal gain ceased to be horrific, and become a sign of success or popularity? When did we start turning a blind eye to manipulation? What happened to “quality over quantity”?

I thought I had more on this topic, but I don’t except to say that we cannot control our environs – only ourselves within them.

Coming next: Advice from Jimmy Sprinkles!
Coming soon: Guest blog from another Southern girl

Random Whatnots - Part II

Here are more random thoughts that at one time or another I considered working into an actual entry. I think it speaks to my basic inability to entertain myself for very long.


On telephone interviews:
Can you tell me why, specifically, people who do not speak English well enough to conjugate the most basic verbs, are set about the task of following up on resume submissions? I just finished a phone call during which I may, or more probably may not, have answered questions which may or may not have been asked.


Odd Discoveries
11:27am: Just discovered that I’ve been wearing my shorts inside-out all day. That explains a few things…


On People Who Text without Vowels
I know a girl who does this. Apparently she doesn't realize it only serves to confirm that she IS, in fact, an idiot. Also ensures that her texts are easily discernable even from someone else’s phone. Did I say idiot already? Oh. Yes. Right. Well, some things bear repeating.


On My Instability
In an effort to maintain my very limited sanity, I move quickly. I suspect that if I were to slow down, everything would crumble like a stale Hostess snack cake. I’m generally just barely holding myself and my life together. If it weren't for coffee as a distraction, two or more of my personalities might have surfaced and really fucked things up today!


On Summer Footwear
I'm not hatin' on the flip-flops except to ask WHEN EXACTLY it became acceptable to wear them with, say, a cocktail dress? Or to an evening event? Or to a bridal shower??? They're shoes for the shower, not “shower shoes”, no matter HOW pretty they are. Backyard BBQ: yes. Checking the postbox: yes. Quick trip to the convenience store: I get it. Otherwise, why not try a pretty thong sandal?


On Facebook “Favs”
Favorite: (adj) one that is treated or regarded with particular liking or more highly regarded than others.
Fav: (adj) abbreviated version of the word favorite.
I said it one time and heard all about myself via Facebook, email, and in person. In retrospect, rightfully so. Had I thought about it sooner, I would have agreed and never typed it. Interesting turn throughout though; for once, I am not alone in an opinion! Here’s the little troublemaker: Using your FB “status” line to announce to your five bazillion “friends” that you’re hanging out or doing whatever with your “favs.” It insinuates that since absentee friends aren’t participating, they’re nothing more than merely stock for your stable in an attempt to increase your general popularity using Facebook numbers. Adding insult to injury, it really is in truly poor form. I adore my friends and to each I hang my head in shame. Please forgive me my gross departure from good manners.