Advice from Jimmy Sprinkles

1. Always sit with yer back to the wall. This is non-negotiable. Shit goes down, you should see it comin’.
2. Yer “family” is bigger than blood. Ya don’t screw your “family.”
3. Burn anything with blood on it. Ya just never know…
4. Buy a round at the bar.
5. Watch yer mouth in front of the ladies. Yer gonna wanna give one of ‘em the old ba-bing one day.
6. Don’t start no shit, there won’t be no shit.
7. Guys: ya want a one-night stand, buy it. That’s somebody’s daughter yer messin’ with.
8. Watch yer associations. Today’s odds-on favorite is tomorrow’s 20 to 1.
9. Learn to keep people’s secrets. Think of it as a long-term investment in body and soul.
10. Good wine ain’t always expensive. (That’s one of them euphemisms. Yous can figure it out.)
11. Just because ya don’t think yer caught don’t mean ya ain’t.
12. Keep yer money in yer mattress and yer consigliere in yer wallet.
13. The tip you leave today might buy ya somethin’ tomorrow.
14. Never trust the over-anxious. They got their reasons.
15. Eat dinner with friends. It’s good to break bread.