"She Said What?"

We all know it’s a rare occasion that I step outside my own personal business to write about the actual carrying on of people I actually know. But sometimes, it’s to the benefit of all of cyber-civilization to remind you that your behavior counts. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day someone will pull up all of the old email you sent and forward it. Let that be a warning the next time gossip or ugly words are about to cross the lips. Now, on with our story…

I would guess three or four years ago, I could’ve been considered a FaceBook junkie. Even two years ago, when I was working from my office at home every day, it was always up on one of my computers. But over the last year and a half, I’ve found other things to do with my time and FaceBook just sort of fell away.

Sure, I’ll check for private messages, ignore new friend requests, and run through the first few items of my newsfeed, but rarely do I see anything of interest enough to comment on before I’m bored and move on to the 300+ pieces of email waiting in my Inbox. So imagine my surprise…

[Clarification: what follows wasn’t so much surprising as it was… well… baffling]

… to read a comment by a 34-year old woman who wrote, “Cheers to being grown-ups!”

My unexpressed thought? “As opposed to….? “

I happen to know this particular girl and I know that the sole purpose behind the post was to let “everyone” know that the person she so horribly ridiculed for so many years, is now her “friend,” alongside a host of others she’s summarily defamed and gossiped about.

Weird… because none of that seems very grown-up at all.

Behaving in a manner befitting one’s mid-30s is not cause for a celebration – it’s an expectation. Much like one expects a 16-year old girl to pine over a boy who doesn’t want to date her.

At a certain age – I’ll say, theortically 28 – you should have reached a mature, adult station whereby you can forego high school-like carrying-on; stand by your opinions and decisions; and have achieved, at a minimum, a level of self-confidence and awareness not to lie, gossip, or weasel your way into situations in hopes of being “in-the-know.” It’s embarrassing… for the rest of us.

Just so we’re clear, I am definitely not saying that you’ll never hear me say anything snarky about another person, or that gossip is/was/has been officially banished from my life! That’s just crazy talk! Hell, some of my best material is built on both of those. The difference is that I stand in front of, and behind, my words. If you’re not going to own it, then you’ve got no business saying it. It’s a “treacherous” road when others know the truth and kinda feel like it might make for a hilarious party anecdote.

In conclusion (*clears throat*):
• Acting your age instead of your shoe-size is not just cause to pop a bottle

• Look to Dr. Spock’s “Baby and Child Care” for education surrounding age-appropriate milestones then put them into practice

• Don’t be a two-faced jackal (Oh! I think I’ll add that one for next year’s updated version of Life Truths!)

Holding to these simple guidelines will ensure the number of times people snicker behind your back is minimized; the chance of someone publicizing the truth about your unstable, low self-esteem driven crazy antics is kept mostly under wraps; and you’re continued presence is tolerated – given your circumstances… whatever they may be.

Now run along and play. The grown-ups are talking.