Nostalgia

“Don’t have much to say,
Thought I’d call you up anyway.”
~ James Taylor

Nostalgia. It’s the classic example of “hurts so good.” I’ve been feeling rather nostalgic lately and I don’t know why. I do know I’ve been wallowing in it as if expecting some grand ROI for having done so...Yes, seems a little unbalanced.

Which of us is who we thought we’d be while playing “grown up” as a child? How many fulfilled the promise of that 6th grade essay question asking, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”

When we started college, with our big plans and bigger dreams, did we believe for a moment that today we’d be looking back at that time wondering, “how could I possibly have been so naïve? So idealistic?”

And finally, during which drunk did that person completely disappear only to be replaced by this one? Not that there’s anything innately wrong with this one, it’s just… different.

What if…
… we went left instead of right?
… we’d said yes, instead of no?
… we’d said no, instead of yes?
… we’d thought it through?
… or not thought about it at all?
“There are faces I remember
From the places in my past
I said all the dead head miles
And insincere smiles
Sometimes I can laugh and cry
And I can’t remember why
But I still love those
Good times gone by
Hold on to them close or let them go
Oh no, I don’t know.” ~ James Taylor
I made one very definitive decision very early in my life – and it changed every aspect of my future. It’s the ultimate, “what if…” So since I’m waist deep in feeling nostalgic, the question to ponder over our collective cocktail is, “would I make that same decision again if I could?”

And what if I didn’t?
We all know how I feel about The Universe and it’s methodology for ensuring you end up exactly where you’re supposed to be, when you’re supposed to be there. Would it have made a difference? I’m looking for a genie in a lamp here. Or better yet, a visionary in my vodka.

Here’s something to mull: If a neutron can be in two places at one time, and it stands to reason then that an atom can also be in two places at one time, and since we are comprised of atoms, is it possible that in a Parallel Universe I am who I thought I’d be when I was so very young? Are you?

I think I’m going to go put on my “H-town uniform”; wonder at my White Tag Levi’s; open some wine; play some old CDs; read some letters; flip through some photos; then paw around in my still half full college satchel. Maybe I can get this out of my system.

“Things may always stay the way they are,
Still my head looks for a change from time to time.
I don’t really need to look that far.
Turn on the music, strike up the music
Let the music change my mind.”
~ James Taylor