School started today. I know this because some jackass father in his Toyota Tundra literally tried to run me into oncoming traffic so he could “beat me” to the entrance of one of the many private schools I pass every day.
Asshole.
So I laid on the horn for about 300 yards, flipped him off as I passed, and hollered “see you tomorrow !”
I hate the “in school” year. For the next month every parent who is too afraid to allow their child to stand at the end of their own driveway – because there’s no such thing as a school bus stop anymore (shocking that kids are so fat) – will have forgotten what time they left the house five days a week for ten months during the last term, and make those of us with the sense not to have kids utterly miserable.
My summer drive is delightful, and clearly I’m bitter and resentful of its loss.
So, Dear Parents~
I’m so very sorry that your snotty-nosed, self-entitled, coddled brats are creating such havoc in your morning schedule that you’re forced to take your frustration out on everyone else on the road and will one day find yourself in a situation far worse than discovering that you’ve set your child up for failure by bestowing on him/her/it the idea that everyone deserves a ribbon, or trophy, or certificate and when they fail – and they will fail brilliantly – that YOU did this so you might as well settle in to the idea that you’re nothing more than a chauffeur and a wallet.
*takes breath*
Sincerely,
Peace.
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