As of late I've been suffering from a severe case of l'ennui. Not only can't I get motivated to start the process of writing, I can't even work up any enthusiasm to play with my new hair-do - that being the official ennui barometer. Adding insult to injury, no matter how hard I try I just can't work up a good outrage about anything. Perhaps I should be thankful, but the bottom line is this: life's crap is my writing fodder. Right now all I have is a head full of voices and half-baked paragraphs...
...which brings us to the first in my series of Random Whatnots for 2010. These are the things that pop into my head making some of the voices ask what the hell I'm putting in my vodka now. There were only two for 2009, which incidentally I thought was pretty reasonable. I suspect we'll see more than that this year!
[sidebar: You can get caught up on last year's Random Whatnots I and II under May and July 2009, respectively.]
The Trouble with Tissue
The bathrooms in my house have those stand-alone toilet tissue holders. For whatever reason, Mr. Man keeps moving them from the place I designed them to stand, to somewhere... I dunno... more convenient? Admittedly, I was pleased not to have an obstacle between me and the waste bin when I tossed the empty hair conditioner bottle out of the shower this morning, but that ability does not address the question. Why? Why does he move it? Is he just wandering around in there bored and looking for something to do? How about moving the bathroom scale to somewhere I can't see its patronizing digital stare? That kind of movement I could appreciate... and understand.
On Basic Decency
"No manners is worse than no money."
Remember, while some may smile and nod along side you, they're appalled by your actions or words and tend to repeat it to others at your expense. To those who smile and nod without interjection I say only this: coward.
And Speaking of Cowards
... I have a stalker of the Internet variety! Actually, she skulks about looking for, well, I don't know what she's looking for... general information and possible sightings? What I do know is that it makes me feel famous! It's really quite exciting. I never know what she's going to do or say next. Oh, the intrigue!
Now form an orderly line to my left and I'll happily sign autographs!
The GC
I do love a gift card. This may be the best idea ever! Well, except that on my desk at this very moment I have counted16 unused gift cards and gift certificates. Yeah... 16. It's not that I don't appreciate the thought that went into pulling that "just right" gift card off the selection carousel at the supermarket; it's that I don't really have time for the shopping, dining, whatever, required by these. When I do have the time, I'm inevitably caught without said GC on my person. It's not like I'm gonna tote these things around in my pocketbook. I can't even remember the Bed, Bath, and Beyond 20% off coupon that's become a permanent fixture in my glove box.
I'm not criticizing. As a matter of fact, I sometimes think I enjoy the surprise of discovering where you can purchase GCs as much as the GC itself. Who knew my local liquor purveyor issued gift certificates? I wonder, is the GC the new gift-giving cop out?
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