I think TMZ is unquestionably the most entertaining show on the television.
Nothing makes me happier on a Sunday morning than a pot of coffee, an hour with Bill Maher, followed by an hour of celebrity mishaps and the associated commentary delivered by the correspondents of TMZ who say things like “be-queef” instead of bequeath… which was being used incorrectly in the first place!
I take a lot of guilty pleasure from this weekly reminder that no matter how many times your face appears on a magazine cover or the silver screen, falling, butt picking, cellulite, and horrendously poor judgment still happen… and are captured for posterity!
I swear if I could have any job in the world it would be that of a TMZ correspondent. I could be as snarky as I want ALL THE TIME. I wouldn’t have to concern myself with grammar or research. I could abandon all semblance of grown-up, responsible Me and revert to the unpredictable, gypsy Me of yore.
*sighs*
I wonder if President Obama has ever been on TMZ? I wouldn’t be surprised to discover he has and that he, himself, “leaked” the appearance; emerging from ballet class with his daughters or some equally saccharine, family-man duty in order to get himself some positive television face time.
Here’s the thing… I don’t want my President to be a TV star. Someone should tell him that there’s this big house with an oval room in it where people expect him to do more than make angry, poorly written speeches. What about the red phone? If it rings, what are the chances he’ll be there! I’d venture to say he’s on the tube more often than season one reruns of Jersey Shore – another inexplicable phenomenon. He’s one step away from exiting his vehicle without panties.
The only real hole I see in my quest for TMZ employment dominance is that I don’t read enough celebrity magazines to know who anyone is. Robert Pattison could sidle up next to me in front of the mag-rag stand while waiting on line at the supermarket and I wouldn’t recognize him. Sure, McDreamy, McSteamy, or any of America’s Sweethearts I could totally stalk. But this whole new crop of actors that look like every kid exiting the local high school make no impression on me whatsoever. Nonetheless, I’m pretty sure I’m a value-add.
Dear TMZ:
I have absolutely no experience chasing down celebrities – but I’m super snarky and know the difference between “queef” and “queath” so that should fill the obvious hole on your staff. I can start immediately. Please send a car.
There were some interesting remarks surrounding this post left on my Facebook wall instead of here. *glares*
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I love that it started a conversation. If we're not "friends" on FB, send me an invite to read some really interesting thoughts of the political variety! Pretty funny stuff... ~JM
POSTED ON FACEBOOK BY LJ:
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you watch TMZ and can quote Maher makes the point obvious. News entertainment is everywhere! FDR had one media outlet:radio. He could easily commandeer the target audience (American people) while Obama has to hit all the notes. The "everyday man'= ESPN. The 'intelletual shut-in' = 60 minutes. The 'soccer moms/dads' = Leno.
Bush may have been the Decider but Obama is the Persuader, out of necessity. If the 24 hour media cycle follows his every move, who's to blame? I blame our ADD as a collective nation, used to getting our information in microwaveable-single-serving sound bytes, too lazy to suss out the details for ourselves. Hence his promise to involve us in his work as our President and his need to go on a media tour just to get everyone's attention.
Sometimes I think he should just go on AI and sing his speeches; let Randy speak for the middle, Ellen critique for the left and Simon can bellow like they do on Fox about how bad he sings. Obamathon was created out of our own lack of intellectual integrity and it's just getting worse. Have you heard those tea-baggers? To watch them sit in front of a blackboard as Beck scribbles his insane diatribe about how the world is coming to an end while they cheer for our President's demise leaves me cold. I rememeber when I was un-American simply for speaking against Bush's policies. Tammy Wynette must be turning over in her grave. ... See more
As far as him getting any real work done, he has a Blackberry so I'm sure he's on top of it all. LOL
REBUTTAL POSTED ON FACEBOOK BY PAUL C:
ReplyDeleteLOL... all that persuading, and still 70 percent of the country rejects his policies. All that TV time, all those sound bites, all of the 400+ speeches, and still he thinks that he's simply not explained himself well enough to we, the idiots.
And because we're never REALLY sure when LJ is finished:
ReplyDeleteWell, if he didn't, the Right would claim he was lying about being transparent (CSPAN) and accuse him of back room deals. He can't win with the party of No. Now they think he should prop up NASA but not GM/banks but are also mad that he is taking down Toyota. It's so damn confusing until you realize he's just wrong, all the time. Keep chanting. It's maddening!