March Madness! An Experiment

I said I wouldn't do this but it occurs to me that I'm giving up before I try. So! Instead of cluttering up my entries with a month's worth of one-liners or random short observations, I've decided to experiment here. So check back. We'll see how it goes!

March 1, 2010
Today I realized that my Blogger rating thingy is all f-ed up. I also realized that on the very first day of this experiment I'm already feeling too much pressure to be whatever it is I am. Maybe I should eat my Special K and mull that over for awhile.

Later...
I mulled. Have decided this will be easier once I have a March theme... I need a theme, People!

March 2, 2010
Still no theme but a couple of ideas to consider. Right now I'm busy wondering who thought Ball Yoga at 7AM was a good idea. A girl could get seriously injured! I barely have enough balance to put my yoga pants on; now you want me to practice postures and balance with and on this gigantic silver ball? Nonsense, I tell you!

March 3, 2010
I can't believe I haven't mentioned this before. Maybe I thought there was a whole blog in this... I was watching one of the Olympic events - couldn't tell you which one because frankly, I just didn't care - and one of the announcers kept saying "ginormous."  Really? Was it so much effort to decide if something was gigantic or enormous that we had to squish the two together into one word? Come on, People!!! Raise your hand if you think there's a difference between those to words?

If you just raised your hand, you're excused from future reading. Thank you for your patronage.

March 4, 2010
From the category, "odd things we never forget":
When I was in grades 5-7, my best girlfriend was Mary Raisebeck, Jr (yep, junior), and today is her birthday. The "odd" bit here is that I haven't spoken to her since grade 7 when mid-year I moved to Newport Beach, California to live with my father. That was not going to be my entry for today but when I sat down to type, there was my desktop calendar with a big 4 on it and, like every year, I thought of Mary.

Tomorrow we'll talk about my sweatpants.

March 5, 2010
How exactly does one go about losing one's favorite sweatpants? It's not like they just live in the drawer until I'm out of clothes. I wear the disgraceful things all the time! They're easy to identify by the UNidentifiable stain on the right leg, and ripped out hems. They don't fit right and they're gray... and not just because that's the color they came in. So, you can plainly see why I'd want to find them.

HAPPY FRIDAY!

March 6, 2010
"Human life itself may be almost pure chaos, but the work of the artist is to take these handfuls of confusion and disparate things, things that seem to be irreconcilable, and put them together in a frame to give them some kind of shape and meaning." ~ Katherine Anne Porter

 I wonder if I can get away with "chaos of color"? I'm finally painting the unpainted downstairs bathroom and just realized - while having my post-shower dry off with a hand towel because I forgot all the towels are stacked neatly in the laundry room waiting to be put away - that, based on my color selection, I need to replace everything that isn't a permanent fixture. In the words of LJ: Craaaaap-tastic.

March 7, 2010
So... with the first 7 days of my personal March Madness behind me I've come to realize is that my daily life really is as dull as originally suspected.

Bathroom update: with the initial "cutting in" of the ceiling and corners complete, it was decided that perhaps the window casings should be replaced along with a 2" of length of baseboard no one can see let alone reach. This requires that the sink and cabinet be removed. I think the time to order my "Craptastic" t-shirt has arrived.

March 8, 2010
My plan was to post my Martha Stewart rant-blog today. Why do I suddenly feel like it's better suited for April? In deciding not to post it today, I went  barreling about looking for something else to elevate. Something near completion or even something crappy that I can fix in a hurry. I got nothin'. I'm getting that creepy feeling again... could be not enough coffee... could be my undergarments.

March 9, 2010
Craaazy busy week!
I'm in love with the weather!
I read somewhere that excessive use of exclamation points is a sign of possible psychosis. Can't I just be "enthusiastic"? Why does it always have to be crazy!
Molecajete Pollo tonight for birthday celebration dinner! No, not mine... I should not be this excited!

March 10, 2010
Stepping into the shower, it's impossible not to notice the gigantic, hideous scar across my stomach. I'll admit, I was feeling a little shitty about it this morning. I got to thinking about a myriad of situations linked to that scar; how if I had or hadn't done this or that then maybe I wouldn't have it or at least be so angry about it. How, in a very subtle way, it affects the way I look at the people around me.

Everyone has scars. I suppose I should feel lucky that, this one at least, is on the outside and I'm forced to look at it. I'm going to take the rest of this to the other page... give me a day or so.

March 11, 2010
Happy birthday to Troy of TX and Melissa of PA. Cheers!
Speaking of birthdays, it's off to Philly tonight to celebrate another dear friend's birthday as well. Seems like everyone is having a celebration of some sort this week and last... and next. I do love a celebration! It's the perfect way to usher in Spring if you ask me! Wrap that up in daylight savings time this weekend and it's a wonder I don't leave a wake of giddy everywhere I go!

Wow... too much yoga and positive affirmations - not enough coffee. I'll try to dial it down.

March 12, 2010
I heard the most interesting thing last night. It was said that seeing a girl out and about in her sweatpants - no matter what cute little thing is written on the ass - leaves most men with the impression that she's "given up" on trying to look good. AND! There's no way for them to know if it's just a "bad morning, need chocolate milk to put out the fire in my stomach" thing, or if she's in her natural state. Outcome? None whatsoever. Too big a risk and too much effort if sweats and a ponytail is the way she rolls.

Another boy/girl hypothesis confirmed.

March 13, 2010
Happy Coffee Party Day! http://www.coffeepartyusa.com/
Sadly, it's not a celebration of my second favorite drink; that's September 29th. This is politics - which is one of my favorite topics of conversation so I support dedicating the day to this cause! Seems like there's a "Day" for everything now. I think I may start and chair National Finish My Freakin' Bathroom Remodel Day. Who's with me!

FYI... National Vodka Day is October 4th

March 14, 2010
I market on Sundays. I try to be done with all my errands before church lets out for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which is that I deserve a little peace. Today I came up with a fantastic way to ensure that happens. Implement a ban on children in the supermarket before noon. That way I don't have to put up with the snot-nosed, smart-mouthed, fit throwing heathen the "grown-ups" call call their "children." Thank you for your cooperation.

March 15, 2010
Welcome to my first "cop out" update of the month... in my opinion anyway. I cut my finger pad at the Lowe's so I'm saving my typing to work on the next regular entry. Topic: Texting

Has anyone else set their countdown clock for Wednesday? Just checkin'...

March 16, 2010
I nearly failed at Day 16! I'm going to blame the fact that in a mere 3 hours I'm finished working for the day and beginning the process of Pre-St. Patrick's Day preparations! I don't have much to say on any topic today so here's some advice for tomorrow: If green beer is on your list of things to do, don't leave home without your Wisps! Really... people have cameras...

March 17, 2010

Happy BEST DAY OF THE YEAR!!!

I may or may not have more to say at the end of the day, post-12 hour extravaganza. This is one of those times when it would be really prudent to have a Breathalyzer installed on my keyboard...

Be safe and don't forget your Wisps!

March 18, 2010
With another hugely successful St. Patrick's Day celebration behind us, it's time to start focusing on the weekend. With temperatures reaching the upper 60s I would normally be thinking it's high time to trot my so-white-they're-translucent legs out for a little sunshine. However with a dear friend coming north for a weekend holiday that's not going to happen. I'm not particularly vain, but there are just some things you don't reveal in polite company. Once you cross that line you're just one step away from inviting people into your panty drawer.

March 19, 2010
What started out as an exercise in perseverance is quickly turning into the newest bane of my existence. I spend all of yoga each morning not focusing on my breathing at all; rather, searching fervently for some kernel of wit or humorous anecdote to sum up in just a couple of sentences. Certainly, like everyone else, lots of notable things happen every day. But who cares? You don't know the players so why would you be interested in the stats? I did have this thought while showering though: The problem with anticipation is that the event is already set-up to fall short.

March 20, 2010
Whew... Running willy-nilly into shenanigans... enough said about last night. Except for this. There is a reason we stopped doing the things we did. It's probably a good idea to make a list, rather than return to the "glory years," which ultimately will only serve as a reminder that the initial decision was a good one. On the upside, forced morning after reflection on the night before is a great opportunity to congratulate yourself on your personal growth. Might I just suggest stretching first.

March 21, 2010
Here we are at the beginning of the end of another weekend and I have to ask, "where did it go?' It's true what "they" say about time passing more quickly as you get older and I'm pretty sure there's nothing that demonstrates that quite like spending time with old friends. Not friends you've know for a few years, or even 10 years... I mean the people you've had in your life for most of your life. A few glasses of wine later and you're speaking in terms of decades instead of seasons, whooshing past the fact that if anyone were sober enough to do the math the result would come as a maddening shock. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go see how fast today goes by!

March 22, 2010
A quote from one of my favorite girlfriends, MG: "Being good at stupid doesn't count."
I like it because "stupid" has such breadth; it can include all manner of thinking and behaviors. It's non-specific in its specificity so the applications are practically endless. It's a giant net that only captures one kind of fish! Gorgeous! Someone should add it to the Word of the Day Calendar.

March 23, 2010
No one supports the freedom of speech this country allows us like I do. It's the very privilege I demonstrate here. However! There should be a law or censorship or some other quieting-of-stupidity to protect the public from people who leave remarks on message boards and regurgitate things on their social networking sites that confirm their total lack of social and/or political awareness in an effort to appear smarter than they are. Those people are really wasting my time...

March 24, 2010
As a rule I try to minimize the spouting of political rhetoric in this forum, confining my rants to social blunders and the general stupidity of others. However (didn't see that coming, eh?), I promise I will jackslap the next idiot who says that the health care reform bill and subsequent Manager's Amendment for cost and care control is marching us down the path to socialism. Perhaps these people don't know or understand what socialism is. Let me use my small words:
Socialism is a political (note: not necessarily governmental) system in which private property and the distribution of income, goods, and services is subject to control by a collective, standing in direct opposition to Capitalism.

What we actually have here is not Socialism; it's another tax Obama promised we wouldn't see during his administration. This may not be the best approach, but it's the one YOUR representatives chose. So. Raise your hand if you want to continue lining the pockets of the health care industry with no recourse?

March 25, 2010
The wine. The wine! Ugh... I can't hardly see my fingers through the blurry-eyed head congestion of enjoying entirely too much wine with friends last night. Dinner? Who needs dinner when there's Pinot Grigio and martinis? Enough said...then and now.

March 26, 2010
I spent last night curled up on the sofa watching my CW programs - on TiVo - slurping up the better part of a bottle of wine through strawberry flavored Twizzlers and I can't decide if that's sad or just FANTASTIC!

March 27, 2010
It may not come as a surprise to learn that I read... a lot. I can easily spend upwards of 4 hours clicking around StumbleUpon alone (www.stumbleupon.com). I mention this because I think it's the reason  I pick up snippets of conversations or television programming I wasn't necessarily listening to. It's like clicking through StumbleUpon; I'm not really looking for anything, but something will catch my eye and resonate for hours. Last night I heard this on the television: "Who needs proof when accusation will suffice?" It was in reference to Mata Hari and her presumed guilt which, by all accounts, was nothing more than a story made up for the sake of intrigue. Make of that what you will...

March 28, 2010
Sunday. Some people call it the day of rest - I call it my "do nothing" day. Of course, by "do nothing" I mean get to market before church lets out so I don't have to fight off the good Christians for the best baked goods; do my wash; brunch, lunch, or dinner with friends; and finally, lay about watching the television in those ratty old sweatpants I finally found (see March 5th entry).

Soon volleyball will start on Sundays and it'll become a different kind of day of rest!

March 29, 2010
I am not a patient person. If I don't see almost immediate results from whatever effort is being put forth, I'm out. The only thing more annoying to me than waiting for results, is waiting for someone. I've said it a million times but it's worth repeating: being on time is one of the few things in this life we can actually control. To make someone wait - whether personally or professionally - is saying that you believe your time is infinitely more valuable and important than theirs. Unbelievable.  *shakes head*

March 30, 2010
Inevitable. I've been mulling today's entry for hours now and I got nothin'. I read the NY Times, scanned FaceBook, read ALL of my email. Nothin'. With that said, how about I leave you with this: "Blessed be the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from wordy proof of the fact." ~ George Eliot

March 31, 2010
Well Dear Readers, this is it. The last day of my March Madness experiment. I wish I could say I'd been saving something insightful or provocative for today, but alas, I am no more of either than I ever am. I'm ending this month exactly as it began: yoga practice, coffee, shower, work. I did have an interesting dream last light in which the primary characters were the entire cast of NCIS and a Viking gas stove.
So on this last day of March, which did in fact come in like a lion but seems to be going out like a goat, I leave you with this little pearl:

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." ~ Bill Cosby

Thank you for reading, Dear Friends...