A Brief Follow-Up

*crickets*
I'm blocked.
I can't come up with a thing to write. Well, that's not altogether true... I haven't been able to write anything appropriate to post. I know, I know. That goes against the very principle of this blog. I suppose I could...

OK. Here's something that's been on my mind. If you read "Common Denominator" (March 29) and “got it,” I applaud you. I received a lot of email and posts that completely missed the point of what I was trying to say – which is quite obviously my own fault. Apparently I was too delicate. Now I'm going to break it down:

Common Denominator is not about “someone else” or “Crazy Girl.” It’s solely about being the only constant in your own life – for good or bad. It’s about not blaming other people for your decisions or the unpleasant things that “happen” to you. You were there. You made the decision, choice, leap of faith. If you were ultimately wrong for having done it, don’t blame the person you did it to. Step up and quit acting like a little pussy. If you can’t own your actions, perhaps you should be thinking them through better before you just run off all willy-nilly trying to get attention, get laid, or be a part of something.

Let’s look at how this works with boy/girl relationships since that’s easy. Girl likes boy. Boy just wants to hook-up with Girl. Boy buys dinner and drinks a couple of times. Girl interprets this as a relationship. Now, maybe it is, maybe it’s not. Maybe it turns into something and maybe it doesn’t. Boy is holding the reins because Girl refuses to accept she may be “one of those girls” even though her history clearly delineates this as an ongoing predicament. After Boy is satisfied that he’s gotten all he’s interested in out of the situation, Boy quits calling Girl and she blames Boy’s roommate/friend/ex-girlfriend/new girlfriend/mother.

Truth: Girl just isn’t interesting enough; is too clingy; or just lousy in the rack.
Truth: Boy is a big jerk because he wouldn’t own it and just tell her the truth.

Just to be absolutely clear. This is bigger than just piddly boy/girl freak shows. This spans the width and breadth of ALL relationships. The point of Common Denominator is this: if you don’t like something about your life, blame yourself. Don’t blame me or your upbringing or the Federal government. If you don’t want to accept that your attitude or issue is your problem then might I suggest that you collect your pail and your shovel and get out of the sandbox until you learn how to play well with others.

Huh. Apparently I had something to say about that!