The Waiting Game

I hate games and I'll be the first to admit that I am NOT a good player.

You’d think that as the 5th of 7 children, I would've grown up to be be very, very good at waiting… Interestingly enough, that's sooo not the case. I think it’s unbearably and undeniably rude. I can’t imagine any circumstance by which making someone wait is acceptable. Obviously, I’m not talking about unavoidable “little waiting” like one does on line at the convenience store. That my friend, is inevitable and certainly expected, therefore tolerable.

No, the types of waiting I’m talking about fall into two distinct categories: the Professional kind, and the Personal kind.

The Professional kind of waiting done is in doctor’s offices or next to the phone for lab results that are days late. It's done by managers and customer service people. These “Professionals” are painfully well aware of the fact that they’re chipping away at our will to maintain our sensibilities, and yet, it seems to make no difference whatsoever. Apparently their time is infinitely more valuable than our time. What??? How about my sanity? Is that more or less valuable than your time?!?!?

*jumps up to dance off irritation*

Moving on…

The Personal kind of waiting is even more abhorrent. It’s kind we do for chronically late friends or family. It also happens to be the most disrespectful and wholly unacceptable type of tardiness. To those people I pose:

You’re meeting someone you love and/or respect. You’re well aware of the designated meet time and place; nonetheless, you’re late. In essence, you’re saying - in your own passive aggressive way - that your time and your wants/needs/desires are infinitely more important than anyone else’s. How do I know this? BECAUASE YOU’RE LATE! You know you’re late. What I’d really like to know why? Why are you chronically late? How about you call with an ETA before the person you're meeting is beyond agitated! They managed to get their shit together enough to be on time. That’s what people with a modicum of good manners and grace do…

There's no doubt that Personal tardiness falls into one of these buckets: insecurity, total self-absorption, lack of respect, or acutely poor breeding. Irrespective of which, both Professional and Personal forced waiting ultimately boils down to nothing more than a power trip. You want to feel in control of your life? Get control over your time management skills!

I think I'd like to launch a campaign. I'd propose a day whereby everyone in the world arrives, telephones, reports, and completes on time. Worldwide On Time Day!

Worldwide?
Yep. Though based on the chronic American acceptance of tardiness, turnout would undoubtedly be very poor. Perhaps we should enlist the Japanese to ensure measurable numbers.

*nods seriously*.

I like August 18th for no particular reason other than it happens to be a Wednesday in the middle of a month when nothing interesting ever happens. And it seems like the middle of the week would be an easy enough day to schedule everything in a timely manner. The sticky bit is that it's impossible to make someone do something they don't actually want to do, and since the chronically late take twisted pleasure in making others wait…

*sighs*

Right then. Another perfectly simple yet far from executable idea down the tubes, never to be heard from again… You must admit though. It was a rather good idea, in theory...