Text This

I hate texting. I hate it for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which is the virtually non-existent regard for etiquette.

Texting is to phone calls what instant messaging (IM) is to email. The difference is that I’ve loved IM from the very beginning. Perhaps that’s because it’s confined to a specific location, not chiming at me from my pocketbook every 4 minutes. I can’t begin to imagine the amount of wasted time that could be repurposed into productivity – you know, living life instead of typing about it – with a campaign to be more elusive. Good dating advise as well, but that’s for someone else to write about.

My feeling is that if it takes more than two text messages to tell me whatever it is you need so desperately to say, how about you just save us both some time, unchain me from my phone so I can get on with my life instead of waiting to finish a “conversation,” and use one of those fancy applications to just ring me up? It’ll take half the time and be twice as satisfying!

Here’s another time-saver. There is absolutely no need to text me with “OK” – or worse, “K.” Unless specifically asked for confirmation, acquiescence is implied.

I get what an inconvenience it is to type full words; saying “dis” when what is meant is “disrespect” tells that story.
*sarcasm*
Nevertheless, “c u l8r”? Why? WHY? I’m not in the 6^th grade. It’s not clever. Can someone please tell me why select grown adults find it impossible to use whole words – even with that auto-word completion feature thingy turned on?

How about we don’t text while driving. I know this girl who has wrecked two new cars because she was either reading or responding to a text message. I don’t even try. You can blow that phone up trying to get my attention with a text message, it’s staying right there in the console. If it’s that urgent CALL ME!

[sidebar: yes, I’m aware that in many states it’s illegal to take or place a call while driving, but it’s certainly safer than typing.]

In New York City, most restaurants ban the use of cell phones for verbal conversation. Not only should this be instituted countrywide, I think an addendum should be inserted banning texting as well. It’s just as rude to have a text message exchange as it is to have a phone conversation at the dining table. It’s 30-90 minutes out of your day. Have a modicum of respect for your dining partner. No one is that indispensable.

I think texting should be saved for clandestine conversations in very public places, signaling a friend across the bar of impending doom, quietly getting someone’s attention unnoticed, or other situations when time is of the essence and silence is required. Under these circumstances I get that texting can be a real ass-saver.

Check your 6:00. White patent leather thigh high boots on 400 pound bleached blonde!

Your ex just rolled into the bar. Boobs up!

Bat in the cave…

What I don’t need is anyone’s traffic update when I’m not going that way. I’m not interested in your current state of sobriety – or lack thereof – if I’m not sitting next to you. If you want to know “wassup” begin by accepting that “wassup” is not an actual word, then just call me. Hours can go by before I realize I’ve missed 6 calls and 37 texts because my phone and I are easily separated. The calls I’ll check. But the text messages? I don’t have that kind of time.

*clicks Inbox*
*Erase*
*Erase All*