Judge Not Lest Ye... oh never mind.

"The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues." ~ Elizabeth Taylor

I'm not judging... as long as your vices are the same as mine, of course. Now the minute you do something I wouldn't, oh yeah... I'm judging.

*snicker*

Don't go getting yourself all in a ruffle over that. You do it, too. The people who say they don't are the same people who claim not to fart.

I've always believed that you can gauge the core of a person's "true self" by the courage they show - or don't show - in their dealings and conversations with others. I can't think of a single redeeming quality to be attached to someone who hides behind anonymity. It's the worst kind of cowardice. It's easy to be sanctimonious when there is no avenue for rebuttal or retribution!

I've never been of that ilk. If I can be bothered to judge you, you can bet the effort won't be wasted by not telling you all about it! I like to do my judging directly because that's more fun - and there's no chance of anything being lost in the translation... unless it's deemed to be particularly or unnecessarily ugly. Those conversations I have alone with the voices in my head. I believe that most grown-ups appreciate that unambiguous character trait.

I'm not claiming to be above judgment. Quite the opposite, actually. If I thought I were without imperfection, I'd have no basis on which to compare the vices of others! Comparison is key, and I got me some vices, People! In no particular order - but because I'm not afraid or embarrassed to be exposed:

I drink... perhaps a lot, who's to judge?
I eat entire meals standing over the sink.
Coffee is my best friend and if it's the only one I ever have, I'm okay with that.
I prefer a Black Angus cheeseburger or a Philly Cheesesteak (with/wiz) over white meats, hands down.
I watch television programming brought to you by the CW.
I swear, I lust, sometimes I envy.
I might bring the wrath of The Universe down on your head before breakfast just because I feel like it.
I own 74 pair of shoes - none of which are flip-flops. I do not count my athletic footwear.

See! I'm nothing if not a pile of judgment opportunities. And since I'm pretty sure that's just the tip of the iceberg, Dear Readers, I feel no compunction about judging the vices of others. We all have them. Oh sure, some of y'all's are closer to fetishes if you ask me, but that's a topic for another blog altogether. Nonetheless, everybody has their "thing." Smokers, drinkers, belly-winkers. The question is, why are so many making a sport out of passing judgment or rendering opinions, then getting all shitty when someone returns the favor? It's ludicrous! And really hypocritical!

I say, be brave! Stand up and be judged! In the grand scheme of things, who really gives a shit? As I am often wont to say, not everyone you know is important. So in the recently overly repeated words of Dr. Seuss:

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

I'm a little tired of hearing and reading that, but truer words are rarely spoken!