Back on the Change Train

The state of affairs of my life used to have a shorter expiration date than the milk in my refrigerator. I made decisions quickly, and though not always wisely, they were made regularly with flair and finality!

Note the past tense.

I'm not sure when the change began... the change from constantly making a change, to lack of changing I mean. What I do know is that the Change Train is coming and I've purchased my ticket.

I'm not attempting to feign surprise with the "grand revelation" that I consciously put myself in situations that I know are not in my own best interest. We all do this, and sometimes we get stuck there. See, there's always some extenuating circumstance to rationalize the behavior. Below are some of my own personal favorites. These are great:

It's not forever, it's just for now.
I'm sure I'm just misinterpreting the situation.
It looks / sounds / appears worse than it is.
Once *insert current issue here* is sorted, then I can move on.

Pathetic. Really. Who SAYS that?

Just so we're clear, I'm not advocating irrational life alterations like a change in locale (no matter where you go, there you are!), quitting your job tomorrow because you just hate it, becoming an overprocessed blonde / brunette / redhead, or abandoning all that's true in your life by making a pact with the Devil in exchange for whatever it is your life lacks. That expert level of change should be left to the Professionals - like myself. The kind of change I'm talking about now is the "personal housekeeping." Think of it as an annual cleaning for the soul.

For instance, isn't it high time you deleted those people from your cell phone you haven't heard from in months? Bear in mind, they may be doing the same to you so don't go getting all shitty if you ring up and they ask who's calling. Friendship is a two-person Tango, People!

Looking for something bigger to satisfy your New Year's Need for Change? How about taking a look at the people you surround  yourself with. You do realize that you become what people think they are. Oh, I know... you don't care what people think... *eyeroll*

Here's a good one I learned about a hundred years ago from my girlfriend Lisa (http://lisa-myinnerlifecoachisabitch.blogspot.com): Take a fucking stand and stick with the truth of what you know - even if you're standing alone. This isn't a popularity contest, and You have to live with You. Please try to remember that the rest of us don't.

I don't know what matters to you. I barely know what matters to me anymore. But when you can't look yourself in the eye long enough to apply mascara, you know that avoidance is no longer your friend. You know who you are. You're looking down the rabbit hole and if something doesn't change, you'll fall easily in and be trapped in an unforgiving place, and maybe for the rest of your life.

Go ahead. Buy your ticket. If you're looking for me, I'll be out on the platform.

*hums Change by Taylor Swift*