Time, Time, Time...

I know, I’ve harped on this topic before, but it bears repeating. I’ll be brief.
There are very few things in this world we actually have control over. The sooner you grasp that concept the better off you’ll be. Something we can control is our time – more specifically, our time management skills.

You’ve been performing the shower, shampoo, and shine dance since you were a teenager. You know exactly how long it takes to go from bath to door. My question is this: why the hell are you always late?

Aside from the fact that it’s inexcusably intolerable, think about what this says about YOU. You’re telling people – your friends! – that your time is more valuable than their time; that it’s more important to you to jack around, dallying about with whatever distraction, than it is to be respectful.

Being late does not make you appear “cool” or oh-so-busy that you just couldn’t get where you were going on time what with being in such high demand. To the contrary, it serves to cement the fact that you’re selfish and inconsiderate.

So! For those of you who “just can’t” be on time, here’s a little time management gift from me to you.

1. Accept invitation
2. Post invitation wherever necessary so as not to forget
3. Determine location of meeting place using whatever means at your disposal
4. Mentally gauge how long it will take you to transport yourself to said location based on time of day
5. Factor in any additional stops which may be required such as filling your gas tank or that “quick” detour by your parent’s house
6. Determine how long preparations for rendezvous will take
7. Now use the following formula:

• Event Time – (transportation time + 10 minus) – (preparation time + 10 minutes) = Bath Time

I do realize that if you can’t consistently arrive at a designated location at a designated time, math might be a bit over your head, so try tucking into this:

• 8:00PM meet at favorite bar – (15 minutes to get there + 10 minutes just in case) – (1 hour to get ready + 10 minutes to change mind about hair style) = 6:20PM bath time

Note that by building in an extra 10 minutes to preparation time, I can reassess my ensemble if need be. The additional 10 in transportation ensures that if traffic is particularly congested, I’m still in line to arrive promptly.

If you’re reading this and mentally composing your scathing “Comment” for insertion below, mull this scenario over first:

You’re going out on “a big date.” He’s said he’ll pick you up at 7pm.
At 7:05 you're checking out the peep hole.
At 7:15, you’re blatantly throwing open the curtains to check the street.
At 7:25 you turn out all the lights and swear you’re not opening the door when he arrives.
At 7:26 you’re not sure you have the right night so you turn on the lights to check whatever mechanism you stored this big event reminder on.
At 7:40 you’ve decided to change into jeans and bail when there’s a knock at the door.
Remember how pissed you were a minute ago? There you have it. You’re glad your date hasn’t stood you up but you’re looking for a mighty damn good explanation for being treated with such gross disrespect. After all, you could’ve spent that time doing plenty of things other than waiting.

The principle of this scenario plays out the same when you keep your girlfriends waiting. It’s just as rude and inconsiderate and just so we’re clear, I won’t wait. If you’re late because you didn’t want to be alone waiting for me, you’re in for a longer wait than you thought.

From time to time, unexpected circumstances arise which put you off schedule. I get that; I’m not a complete hard-ass. You’re late. But you know you’re late. You knew you were late well before the pre-determined meeting time. So call whomever you’re meeting! And don’t wait until after you’re late – they already know! You don't wait until 5 minutes before you're supposed to be somewhere. You place that call the moment you realize you're going to keep someone waiting. For all you know they may have had something come up and now they’re busting their ass to be on time – and making it – but could slow down and take a breath knowing that there’s been a 30 minute delay.

If your “big issue” is that you’re just not comfortable walking into a bar or restaurant alone, get over it! Walk in, sit down, order a drink and look around. No one is staring at you! Quit acting like a school kid.

Being on time doesn’t appear desperate. Quite the opposite, really. It shows your friends, family, or business acquaintances that you’re excited and reliable. People do not respect those who cannot be depended on to do what they commit to doing.

Being on time is easy and 100% under your control. Grow up.