All the Single Ladies

Are you seriously telling me that you can’t/won’t walk into a bar or restaurant alone? Good grief. *eyeroll* Next you’re going to tell me that you can’t/won’t eat out on your own or go to a movie solo!

Girls, as hard as this may be to digest, when you enter a building alone, people are not staring at you. To be brutally honest, the chance that anyone even noticed is slim. What? Now you’re insulted? Don’t be. It’s your own fault. You slink in hoping no one will see you, and sure enough, no one will.

I don’t mind waiting for someone at the bar (I’m habitually early) or dining out by myself. I know people aren’t staring at me or whispering about the woman sitting alone. In fact, I suspect some are actually envious. Whatever. The point I’m trying to make is that doing this is not scary or weird. In fact, for those living in Singledom, it can really work in your favor.

Irrespective of the other qualities on the list – great rack, sense of humor, millionaire – you’ll find that everyone is supposedly looking for a partner with confidence. Sure, you say you’re confident… then you cower in your car pretending to be on a call until you see your friends roll up. Really? You’re ridiculous.

There’s something hot, and kind of mysterious, about someone who can sit alone and enjoy a cocktail without “props.” That’s right. Put your phone down. Unless you’re actually a surgeon or an emergency veterinarian, you are not that important. The phone only serves to make you look desperate. And it’s just sad. So stop it. Need something to do while you wait?

• Sit up straight. Slouching is not only pathetic, it makes you look fat.
• Make eye contact and smile. Not that skeevy “come hither” smile you use in the clubs; just a little upturn of the mouth. Girls: men will find it charming; women will feel a kinship with you. Boys: flip that. It’s a win-win.
• People watch. Don’t be all Creep McGreeps about it, but take a sincere look. You’ll quickly realize that you’re not the topic of conversation, and most likely there are other people who are waiting on their inconsiderate, late friends, too. You are not alone.

When dining unaccompanied, I make this concession: feel free to use this time to catch up on your reading. Food service isn’t always paced to my liking and since I’m always 2-3 months behind on my magazines and desperately trying to finish a book, it’s like multi-tasking. And I’m always surprised how often some random person will send me a glass of wine. It’s nice.

[A note of caution: be aware that you’re a “1-top” and the server will want to turn your table with all due speed. If you’re camping out, order and tip accordingly. The Rule: appropriate tip for camping is 20% of what the bill would have been if you were a 2-top… so 40% minimum of your check.]

As for the movies, there are few things in this life I enjoy more than going to a show by myself. If you’ve never done this, or you’re not comfortable doing things on your own, choose a movie time that falls shortly after your next appointment with your shrink, and give it a go. I promise it’s fantastic. No one talks to you. No one asks you what was just said onscreen. You don’t have to explain the jokes, and most importantly, no one is shoving their big bear paw into your 2-gallon bucket of popcorn turning all the fluffy deliciousness into crumbs.

Bottom line: get over yourself. Everyone else is already over you.