Whose Universe Is It Anyway?

I find it somewhat interesting – if a little creepy – that so many people believe they’re an important and integral part of everyone else’s Universe. Perhaps this is unkind to type out loud, but the truth of the matter is, quite frankly, irrespective of what others may tell you, not everyone is important.

I was on the receiving end of quite a dressing down for having said that once before, but I don’t care. It’s the truth.

[sidebar: as it happens, the reason for that unpleasant exchange was that I unwittingly made the honest comment that this person was of little consequence generally and of no importance in my life. Who knew she was a “special friend”? *shrug*]

Back to topic. Thinking this through, if every single person in your life actually WERE important, then none of us would have time for what IS important: Me. You. Us. Most of us already shortchange ourselves in that area. ARGH!… rephrase: We adults (this description having nothing to do with actual age) shortchange ourselves in that area. We’re busy. We have careers to manage and families to tend. We put ourselves at the end of our long list of other responsibilities.

It’s okay to say this out loud: We do not have time for people who think the Universe is revolving around them – no matter what their story. Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not saying that just because someone has a sad tale to tell doesn’t mean we unilaterally regard this person as unimportant based on the amount of time they're going to suck out of an already dry well. I’m saying we have to pick our sad sacks carefully so as not to be taken in, thus losing precious time better spent with – that’s right – the important people in our lives.

If you were to cozy up with a legal pad and #2 Ticonderoga to list who is and isn’t truly an important part of your real life, I imagine you’d all be surprised at who “makes the cut.” People we’ve known for what seems a minute are sometimes the very people we run to for all things happy and sad. YES column. Best friends who know everything about us and love us anyway: DEFINITELY YES! People we’ve known our entire lives whose call we immediately click “ignore” to when their number appears on our cell because, well, <insert your reason here.> Not so much column.

In an effort to help all y’all sort out who’s who, I’ve devised this one-step, easy to remember criteria: if someone is disloyal, lies, creates drama, acts out, manipulates, or generally behaves as though they’re still in the 6^th grade, they are not important. Those are the noises and actions of someone without any sense of self and desperate for attention.

WARNING: Sometimes the ole softy in you will want to take this person in and “help,” but know this: This is a person who will eventually create a wholly unnecessary uproar in your life or the life of someone who actually matters to you – thus disrupting your newfound balance, not to mention leaving a mess behind for which you have precious little time to sweep up.

I don’t know about y’all, but I have too many real problems to be dealing with someone else’s imaginary ones. Return the pacifier and back slowly out of the room. Where there is one, there are more…