I'm not lazy about this writing thing. I'm not... contrary to how it may appear given my erratic at best efforts. No, you see, I have a problem.
Look at the masthead of this page. What do you see? You see me talking about how we all have this persona we present for public viewing and how it's really all just a big farce. The original premise was that here, on these pages, I would rant the truth about life and love and how fucked-up things and people can be. Oh, damnit! I'm trying to not type "fuck" anymore.
Here's the problem. As of late it seems a number of people with nothing better to do with their time are spending it.... WHOA!
*sits back with mouth agape, fingers still poised over keyboard*
I just had a Mack truck epiphany!
OK. I was about to tell the tale about how I can't seem to do this because I'm tired of people dragging my life around like it should be appearing on the cover of one of the trashier supermarket tabloid magazines so the whole world can know about my complete shit year of horror and they're going to make sure no one forgets by judging and talking and acting like they're still in the junior high school... when it struck me in that way that only a truly unexpected truth can: I really, honestly, wholly, and completely do not give a fuck what anyone thinks about how I handle MY LIFE!
*smiles broadly*
*slides dollar into Fuck Jar*
Weird thing is, I thought I did care. I thought I didn't want to fan anyone's imaginary fire; type something "offensive" (what???); or generally call attention to myself in any way. BA! Balderdash to that, I say!
*cranks up Talking Heads*
I almost can't believe I got so far into my own head that I would fuck myself out of so much fantastic material. We all know that some of my best work is borne of my own public humiliation.
*whew*
Well, this feels great! Thanks for being here so I could have this revelation! I'm so fucking happy right now! And I just paid myself $6 for it! Four more and there's a bottle of Woop Woop wine in it for me.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Cheers!
woman, if going by our King's rules last night you TOTALLY need to drink like.....well....i lost count how many times. FUCK it, we'll all drink together. ......here is to the greater good......salute!!!!! p.s. i know you delete these but this wasn't meant for anybody but you anyway, so go right on ahead! :) And this is anonymous, but i'm pretty damn sure you know who I am.
ReplyDeleteUhhh.. glad to help.
ReplyDeleteI post that which makes me laugh! Thanks "Anonymous!" You make me so happy! OH! You left your "little black book" behind!
ReplyDeleteOH! And we all know the rule, if I post one, I'll post them all... which is rather presumptuous I suppose... BaaaHAHAHAHA!
ReplyDeleteLove this one.....one of my favs. FUCK, I LOVE IT!
ReplyDeleteShe who laughs at herself never runs out of things to laugh at.
ReplyDelete