What Did You Just Say?

And then there’s the deceit...
Here’s the thing about that; let’s just call it what it is: lying.
Whether by omission, distortion, or boldfaced storytelling, it’s all the same.

I know this girl (though not very well I suppose), who lies about pretty much everything. From what she’s doing, to what she ate for lunch. I can only assume this is a defense mechanism to keep from facing the fact that she’s basically miserable. Or maybe she knows, but she’s trying to hide it from everyone else. Whatever the reason, it’s totally transparent… to everyone…which is embarrassing. One of her friends should talk to her about this…

*looks around*

So, I was chatting with some girlfriends, trying to sort out why so many people give lip-service to “loving everyone just the way they are” then behaving in such a way as to prove that’s total bullshit. We got sidetracked with margaritas so there was never a resolution reached… but the drinks were fantastic, no one lied about anything, and we nearly managed to solve the Libyan crisis.

Still, out of that tequila-fueled conversation came our humble opinion:
Most non-cover-story lying is based in some distorted sense of competition. I have to admit that, given my completely fucked up life (hey, I own it… leave it alone), I’m always caught a little off guard when it happens to me. Y'all are already one up on me... no need to compete for the Most Fucked Up Life title! Besides, if there were something here to compete with, I’d be exploiting the hell out of it.

Here's what I want to know:

Whatever happened to The Sisterhood?
What about supporting one another, instead of belittling another's accomplishments or happiness with a misguided, self-congratulatory tale of superiority?
Where is the kinship that ties us together in mutual love and respect?
Where is the genuine happiness for something good that happens in someone else’s life?
When did all of that get replaced with lying about how you did the same thing only better?
Do those women understand how little the rest of us want to be around that behavior?

It’s a special relationship among women who have the kind of honest communication that sisterhood deserves, free of competitive bullshit and “what are you wearing so I can be sure to look cuter” crap. I’m very lucky to have a few girls in my life who are, like me, too busy, grown-up, disinterested, or damaged to make time for that behavior. Gesh, imagine how unnerving it would be to discover one of “those girls” within your inner circle of confidants.

We should probably consider a stricter friendship application form...

We Don't Talk Anymore

Oh, there are words leaving mouths at breakneck speed, but no one seems to be saying anything of decipherable relevance.

I think we have two very opposite social groups participating in this phenomenon. One seems to be so afraid of ruffling feathers or being perceived as actually taking a stand in opposition of someone else, that nothing is being said when the words are finally uttered. I’m exhausted from trying to figure where these people stand; trying to ferret out meaning from a stream of “politically correct” euphemisms and random acronyms or abbreviations.

The other is compiled of sneaks, schemers, and social-climbers who are talking non-stop about anything and everything that has absolutely nothing to do with them. Gossip, innuendo, half-truths, and brazenly made up bullshit fabricated or passed along in an effort for the teller to feel or appear important in their crowd. Sadly, from time to time you will discover a supposed friend in this mix. I did. It sucks.

*sighs and shrugs*

I do not gossip. Oh I enjoy a laughter-filled round of speculation over a shared bottle of wine as much as the next girl, but I’d never try to pass it off as truth.

I do not tell other people’s stories.

Just so we’re clear, there are many, many times I’ve been absolutely giddy with the opportunity to share a scandalous piece of verifiable information with the world because someone involved kicked my Universe in the ribs.

But I don’t.

Not because I consider myself above that sort of behavior or think I’m better than any other schmoe. Neither of these is true! My reasoning is more selfish.

1. I know that if I sit on something for just a little while, I’ll discover I really don’t care, so why get involved?
2. I don’t have much more than a passing interest in people who don’t affect me.
3. If they do affect me, it’s much more interesting to watch The Universe take out its own revenge rather than get all dirty myself.

In some respects, I’m a willing participant of my own complaint. It’s not that I’m concerned about ruffling feathers or seeming undiplomatic… obviously! I just see no redeeming value in the exercise of making my point to those whose agenda isn’t public. If I had that kind of time, I’d wash my car…

I used to wonder why so few people are willing to take a defiant stand in solidarity of truth and friendship; and the gross number who remain “neutral” when unfortunate circumstances befall their friends. Are these people so self-involved that they don’t see how in not taking a stand, they are taking one?

But I’m past the marveling.

Now I say, so what? The Neutrals have to live with themselves as spineless followers and that’s enough for me. As for the rest, I can’t change the weak-willed and silent conformists. I can only leave them behind.